…the Grouch

It’s the Oscars, dammit, and I just don’t care. I usually care. I love the movies, I even love the experience of going to the movies, which nine times out of ten is great. The tenth time is the one when some jackass behind me feels compelled to click his prayer beads nonstop through the film or the person with poor vocal control talks throughout.

I remember seeing Into the Wild with a gang of elder folk who ate hard candies through the whole movie – crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, slurp, slurp, slurp. At one point, I whipped around and shushed them. One of the old men turned to his companion and said in this baffled voice, “She just told us to shush!” Whereupon I felt like an asshole.

We went to see Shutter Island* a few weeks ago and at the end, as the film was wrapping up the big twist, a woman in the front stood up and shouted, “No, fuck you!” at someone else and walked out.

Wow, OK. So maybe seven times out of ten I like the experience of going to the movies.

Anyhoo. I don’t know what it is about this year that’s failing to capture my imagination. I haven’t badgered S into filling out ballots with me so we can compete against each other. I declined to see a couple films that had acting nominations (including Crazy Heart, which I’m just not that excited about). Maybe it’s the best picture thing. Ten is too many, people. I refused to see The Blind Side (choice quote from my friend’s son: “I don’t like to be inspired.” Ditto!). I also refused to see Avatar, which looks like a big blue mess to me. And I may eventually get around to seeing Precious through a rental (S was not interested). I hope Hurt Locker wins, even though I had some issues with it, but I don’t hope for its victory so fervently that I feel compelled to watch the entire telecast.

Maybe I’ll surprise myself and watch some after all, but I’ve got a lot of work to get done this evening, and work’s rating higher than the Academy Awards. Go figure.

*Does everything that Dennis Lehane writes have some kind of twist at the end? I’ve only seen film adaptations of his books and every time, I’m like – wow, you really had me there until the end. We haven’t watched The Wire, but I’ve been wondering if his episodes all end with some kind of story-altering revelation.


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